My first follow up at my Lyme doctor

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for give you hope and a future.”

-Jeremiah 29:11

Let me be honest here, I’ve never asked God to heal me these last 5 years I have been sick. I have asked him to take my life because it didn’t seem worth living. I have asked him “why me, why do I have to be so sick”. As selfish as that sounds it’s true. I know that my God can heal me with one word, and for a long time, I wondered why He allowed me to be so sick instead of asking Him to heal me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those Jesus followers that going around touching people to heal them, that kinda freaks me out if I’m being honest. But I know that my God can do amazing and abundantly wonderful things. So why have I never asked Him to heal me of my disease?

“Fear, he is a liar”

Fear. That is the answer. Fear. Fear of what it meant to be healed. Fear of what may come if it didn’t work. Fear that I would lose my faith if it didn’t work. So all these years, I felt like I did something to deserve this and that I couldn’t ask God to heal me because He didn’t want to or better yet, I didn’t deserve it. But none of us deserve anything we have. So for me to not pray for healing just meant that I wasn’t unlocking what God could do for me. Until I got diagnosed with Lyme. Because the truth is, I can lose my future children or worse, give Lyme to my children if I am not careful during pregnancy.

Found this in the office visit today. Though I would share because I know it’s been true for me.

“So I knelt there…… and ask God to heal me”

When I got home from that first appointment, I was devastated, angry and yes, scared. I felt like my life was a movie. But I had to be strong, because that’s what I wanted to be was strong. And the God told me, I didn’t have to do this on my own and that I could come to Him. So I did. I knew what I had to do. I had to let go of the fear and declare that God could heal me, He wanted to, He wouldn’t let me kids suffer from this and I had to believe it. So I knelt there, in my war room, and asked God to heal me.

I feel great. I’m tired. Fatigue is my worse symptom. Always has been. But when I went to the doctors today, I told him that I felt good, I was tired but no pain or weakness in my arms or joints. The Herx reaction wasn’t as bad as he described and that I was happy with how things were going. My doctor was impressed. We still have more work to do. I start back on meds on Sunday. But he was impressed. I told him that I asked God to heal me and I knew that He would (he’s a believer too) and he said he thinks that’s why I am doing so well. Am I healed, not yet. But I am getting there. I know God has my back on this and I am very encouraged and optimistic about everything that is happening so far. So here’s to a week off meds and here to God, the one person that I know understands, feels and experienced everything that I have gone through, am going through and will go through.

This is week 4.

God bless you all.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for your blog. It was recommended to me by my cousin Lori who apperently used to work with you at some point? I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read so far. Your story is almost exactly my story. Based on your descriptions, even down to having the same doctor (Fernandez).
    I just finished round 2 of treatment. There were times I felt amazing but at the moment a feel only a little better than when I started. I’ve been suffering for 10-11 years before being diagnosed so it may take longer for me to heal. Joint and muscle pain are the worst for me. Followed by fatigue.
    It’s been encouraging reading along with your progress. I’m happy that it’s going so well for you. I will continue to pray for you.
    ~ Robert Houghton
    http://www.growthproject.org

    Like

    1. Thanks Robert! I wasn’t sure if anyone was reading! I am going to make sure and keep writing then! I’m happy to hear that you are getting the help that you need as well. I will pray for you and keep your head up too. We all got this! We are blessed that we found a doctor that can help us!

      Like

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