“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for give you hope and a future.”
Let me be honest here, I’ve never asked God to heal me these last 5 years I have been sick. I have asked him to take my life because it didn’t seem worth living. I have asked him “why me, why do I have to be so sick”. As selfish as that sounds it’s true. I know that my God can heal me with one word, and for a long time, I wondered why He allowed me to be so sick instead of asking Him to heal me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those Jesus followers that going around touching people to heal them, that kinda freaks me out if I’m being honest. But I know that my God can do amazing and abundantly wonderful things. So why have I never asked Him to heal me of my disease?
“Fear, he is a liar”
Fear. That is the answer. Fear. Fear of what it meant to be healed. Fear of what may come if it didn’t work. Fear that I would lose my faith if it didn’t work. So all these years, I felt like I did something to deserve this and that I couldn’t ask God to heal me because He didn’t want to or better yet, I didn’t deserve it. But none of us deserve anything we have. So for me to not pray for healing just meant that I wasn’t unlocking what God could do for me. Until I got diagnosed with Lyme. Because the truth is, I can lose my future children or worse, give Lyme to my children if I am not careful during pregnancy.
“So I knelt there…… and ask God to heal me”
When I got home from that first appointment, I was devastated, angry and yes, scared. I felt like my life was a movie. But I had to be strong, because that’s what I wanted to be was strong. And the God told me, I didn’t have to do this on my own and that I could come to Him. So I did. I knew what I had to do. I had to let go of the fear and declare that God could heal me, He wanted to, He wouldn’t let me kids suffer from this and I had to believe it. So I knelt there, in my war room, and asked God to heal me.
I feel great. I’m tired. Fatigue is my worse symptom. Always has been. But when I went to the doctors today, I told him that I felt good, I was tired but no pain or weakness in my arms or joints. The Herx reaction wasn’t as bad as he described and that I was happy with how things were going. My doctor was impressed. We still have more work to do. I start back on meds on Sunday. But he was impressed. I told him that I asked God to heal me and I knew that He would (he’s a believer too) and he said he thinks that’s why I am doing so well. Am I healed, not yet. But I am getting there. I know God has my back on this and I am very encouraged and optimistic about everything that is happening so far. So here’s to a week off meds and here to God, the one person that I know understands, feels and experienced everything that I have gone through, am going through and will go through.
This is week 4.
God bless you all.