“…it’s like every other thought that comes into my head is about Lyme Disease…”
So I won’t lie, it’s like every other thought that comes into my head is about Lyme disease. And I’m pretty sure that is normal. I mean, come on, I just found out 6 days ago. I was told that my life was going to take a change and that I may feel “like death” most days, but so far, I feel like a very busy, nervous but grateful Jessica.
So, day two went by without anything “crazy” happening. The only thing that I will say is that I did feel a few times a really sharp pain in my stomach and then a few seconds later it will go away. If you don’t know me, you wouldn’t know that I’m a Keto girl at heart and I truly believe in the benefits of intermittent fasting. I lost 30 pounds last year eating Keto and intermitting fasting and honestly, my flare ups were under control. So, to have this Keto girl that usually only eats after 2 O’clock pm have to eat first thing when she wakes up to take pills, it’s like learning how to do a skill! So maybe I just need to add more food before taking the pills and hopefully my pain will go away.
..but while I was on the bathroom floor, I cried out to God….I wasn’t going to let my mind control me…”
Day two night was a little different. Not only did I have a headache from the time I got to work 4pm to till I fell asleep, I also had this nausea that made me run to the bathroom. But, while I was on the bathroom floor, I cried out the God, and I told Him to please help me go to bed that I wasn’t going to let me mind control me. So I got up, laid down and eventually fell asleep. (Now I know what you non believers are thinking, “she magically prayed the symptoms away.” But no that’s not what happened.) I still had that pain in my stomach, I still had the headache and I still felt like puking my dinner up, but instead of focusing on that, I focused on Gods promises and was able to get past it. I know that bad days are coming, but my first responds will always be to cry out to Jesus.
Day 3 was a little tougher then day 2 but still, I’m going strong. I’m definitely way more fatigued and out of it today. I literally just wanted to sit down and not move. When my fiancé came home from class, he had to wake me up for my appointment to get more labs drawn, to see where my numbers are at, and let me tell you, I felt like a rock. I didn’t want to move but I did, gave my fur babies their breakfast and got ready.
I did get more blood drawn today. It never get easier getting a needle stuck in your arm. It might be a nurse thing. It might be that I know they can miss, even though my veins you can hit with your eyes closed, or if I just am a sissy, but I hate needles. Yes, even nurses hate needles. But what was nice was that I had blood drawn today, and I had to draw blood on a patient today and was able to show her my mark on my arm where they took blood so she could see that I was scared but made it through. That’s what this journey is all about right?
I am noticing that I am very irritable. I can cry with anyone just asking how I am doing. I cried today because my mother in law was showing me her new kitchen, which looks amazing by the way, and all I could think about is that my in laws want nothing more then to be grandparents and I cannot give that to them right now. I hope to in the future. God has already told me to name my first daughter Ivy, so I proclaim that promise whenever I feel down about whats going on. But more on that in a different blog. My eyes are kinda blurry, more like floaters but more often. I already am light sensitive so it may be that. And I am definitely way more dizzy then normal. It’s funny, I always tell people that ask me why I don’t drink alcohol that there’s no reason for me to feel more drunk then I already do daily. It’s just a joke, but what I mean is that I already live life always catching my balance. I mean, I run into walls daily because the come out of no where you know! But it has become so normal to me that I function fine. (I don’t want anyone to think I should be taking care of patient because I’m dizzy all the time. It’s not the kind of dizziness that makes you fall, it’s more if I get up too fast or spin my head to the side to turn too fast I get light headed for like two seconds. “Orthostatic Hypotension” they call it.”
Today when I got home, I loved on my fur babies and my fiancé and then, it was B vitamin shot time. Due to the chronic fatigue, the doctor is giving me weekly shots for a month and then by that time it should be better and we should be able to go monthly moving forward. I won’t lie, the shot didn’t hurt, my fiancé does a pretty good job, but the medicine did, but that is expected. I still have pain from it now going found my gluteus where I got the shot to my toes!!! But this is tolerable. (I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, I said I would be raw so who ever needs this knows that I went through and am going through the same thing!) Then got this brilliant idea to try and make some green bean fries. I miss French fries right now, and I know it’s only been 2 days on this restricted diet, but your girl is craving French fries!!! So I got together some gestational yeast, psyllium husk powder, everything bagel seasoning (from Trader Joe’s) and sesame seeds and whipped that together. The verdict, they aren’t French fries, but they are delicious! And pretty if you ask me! Echo hid under the counter because I told him he couldn’t have any! (lol)
“…..when you feel broken and your life is in pieces, is when God will use you the most.”
My fiancé and I heard a sermon today while he was dropping me at work. The pastor says that when you feel broken and your life is in pieces, is when God will use you the most. Tomorrow I start taking more meds and hopefully by the end of this week I’ll be on my supplements (I’ve held off because of the cost). So things might change tomorrow, who knows. But one thing the pastor said was that God uses you during these times for your purpose. And your purpose might be taking a piece of you and giving it to someone else to help them out. So I hope that this is what this is, taking what most would consider a broken body, a broke life and broken person, and me giving y’all a piece of that brokeness to encourage you.
This was day 2&3.
God bless you all